Bad Hair Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lately I have been living for BHF.  Every Friday on a local radio station (Rock 108 {107.9}) they play kick ass music from the 80’s essentially.  Maybe some early 90’s, but rock only and only rock.  It’s only for the noon hour, I guess this makes us want it more.

Luckily the students I teach are products of Bad Hair era parents.  This makes them appreciate it, or at least that is what I tell myself.

On a differnt note, my kids are excited for Halloween.  My daughter is a ballerina and my son is going as a turtle, but if you really want to be correct he is more like a tortoise cause he’s huge.  Lifiting him is like pulling up a 20lb sandbag.

Hope everyone has a happy H-A-double L-O-W-double E-N.

Oh shit!

Woke up, knew I had to be to school by 730, I was on schedule.  Hear Addison crying out for me, claims she has a stomach ache (most likely hungry, as she didn’t eat very much last night).  I settle her down, told her she could wear her jammies to day care (packed extra clothes in case she changed her mind).  I finished getting ready, got into Mason’s room and he had shit a really runny/pasty shit.  This shit went out the top of his diaper, soaked him, his jammies and the bed with shit juice.  Now I am late.  Have to get the shitty diaper off of him, wipe him down best I can with wipes.  Got the bath ready, took diaper out to trash, put jammies in bag, set in garage.  Got Mason washed, diapered, and dressed.  Loaded him into carrier. Took stinky shit-juice sheet and mattress pad to washing machine.  Took kids outside, locked door.  Realized I forgot Addison’s medicine…and my keys.  First thing to my mind; “Shit the bed!“  I now have two kids under 3 outside in the brisk fall air and can’t get into either my truck or house.  Also did not have wallet, so I could not pop door open with credit card.  Decided to kick in back door on garage, actually kind of cool/fun.  Stumbled over a bunch of shit, went in got keys and wallet…and medicine.  Ended up 10 minutes late to meeting.

Ahhhh the joys of being a parent.

Wow. I’m back. Don’t get all excited, I’m not.

So I have decided to try my hands…er….fingers at blogging again.  I think I need to empty my brain a bit.  Hold no expectations for my performance, as I don’t know how long it will last, or if it will suck eggs.

Things I now know since posting last:

It is really hard to pick peppers in the dark using only your Razor to light the way.

Eating bean & bacon soup leads to bean & bacon gas.  Same smell exactly.

If you hear a story about a woman with “man-hands” and they tell you she’s kinda cute, they’re lying.

College football tailgating is the best Saturday activity known to man.

Metallica finally figured it out, the fans want what they used to be – bad ass.

Beer is good. Beer is good.  Beer is good.

I am really good at pretending to listen, when in actuallity I am not.

 

That’s it for now.  Check back every so often for something new.  I am going to try to keep up.

Wise Old Bull

I don’t know if you all know the story about the Old Bull and the Young Bull on the hill, so I will tell it…the old bull and the young bull were on top of a hill looking down into the valley at a group of heffers.  The young bull says to the old bull; “Hey, hey, why don’t we run down the hill and screw one of those heffers!?”  The Old Bull just shakes his head; “Why don’t we walk down and screw them all!?”

 So why tell an old story you ask, well, an Old Bull happened to share some wisdom with me the other day.  While looking through the toy department with my daughter and my folks, I happened upon a group of dolls.  I couldn’t believe how creepy they looked with their larger-than-life foreheads.  So I pointed this fact out to my old man. 

Dad’s reply…”Foreheads?  Look at that one’s skirt!”

I love you, you love me….

My daughter is in to Barney these days.  She doesn’t ever really get to watch him much, but what little exposure she has had has really caught her attention.  Apparently my mother has been teaching her the Barney song – hence the title of this post.

I tried watching the purple fat-ass once.  They went through 10 topics in a span of maybe 2-3minutes.  It is no wonder kids these days are being diagnosed with ADD and ADHD when the shows they watch are promoting such behavior.  I think they sang a song, jumped/hopped around, played tag, cooked a meal, painted a house, played with a beach ball, dug a trench, decorated a cake, cut a heart out of construction paper and screamed in that 2-3 minutes.  It made my head spin.  If a stoner watched Barney I am sure it would kill them.

Ah Frick.

So I started things up again so I would write more.  It seems to help me clear my head and satisfies a small craving for some creativity.  But I haven’t really written shit yet.  I won’t insult us by promising to write more, I will try but that’s all I can say.

 Speaking of writing; I am going to be going back to school AGAIN next fall.  This time it will be an Advanced Studies Certification in Principalship.  It’s basically a masters degree, but by calling it an ASC I can utilize all of the credits towards my bigger goal of an EdD – or educational doctorate.  This is all for a desire to teach others how to be teachers.  So anyway, I have to write a 2page double spaced paper on critical issues facing education today.  I could write a book on this topic and I have to smush it onto 2 double spaced pages?  I have already written 2 pages on one of my two main topics and haven’t included a intro or closing paragraph.  My head hurts.

Early Out.

One of the benefits of my job.  “Early outs”  If you are from anyplace with snow growing up, you will remember the anticipation of sitting in class looking out at inclement weather.  Waiting, hoping, planning your afternoon of sledding or playing video games.  I still get to live these moments during the winter months.  Except now I look forward to shoveling (because I usually don’t get up early enough to do it in the morning) and taking a nap.

Today it’s lunch and a nap, I shoveled last night.  So, I will be thinking of you all, as my day is cut short but my pay isn’t while I watch Days of Our Lives and have beer with lunch.

The Crud

The Crud is go’in round my house.  I had it first, then after the holidays my daughter got it.  After 2 bouts of magic elixir, one for each of us, my Crud returned, with a new twist and fury.  On my second set of elixirs (this time totalling almost a hundy) I am almost cured.  Note that I said almost, I am still having some after Crud as is my daughter.  To top things off my pregnant wife is now Cruddy too.  Ug….I hate winter.

You know what they say…

Vote for Juan

This dude goes to my school    I am not kidding.  Well, I guess I kinda am, it’s not actually this Pedro, it’s the REAL deal.  We will call him Juan.  He looks, walks, and talks just like Pedro.  He has the thin stash, and slightly disturbing mushroom haircut.  I contemplated taking his photo, but figured it was some sort of violation.

During his run for class president everyone starting wearing  vote for Juan shirts.  The best part is when I saw him at a restaruant he was with this harem of mexican ladies.  He looked so proud walking around with his bootylicious women.

Most of this story is true, well at least the part about having a kid in school who resembles Pedro, and the mexican harem.